Man can’t dance at two weddings

Yesterday morning, as the coffee was brewing and my breakfast was being prepped, I scurried around the kitchen trying to efficiently manage all of the multiple tasks that were habitually popping up in my head. They were mainly the required tasks I needed to start the day. There were a few things that were going on; breakfast was being prepped, I was actively scrolling through my phone and texting friends, and I was having in person conversations with my mom and dad.

Somehow the conversation between my mom and I transitioned into a brainstorming session about the English phrase; “hitting two birds with one stone”. We discussed the intricacies of the phrase and how it was a clever take on completing two tasks simultaneously while really only performing one action.

My father, who lived in Germany for many of his early 20s through to his 30s, was in the living room. He overheard this conversation.

“Man kann nicht auf zwei Hochzeiten tanzen”

“What’s that dad?” I replied.

He then went on to explain the phrase.

It was a common phrase used in Germany. Loosely translates to the following “Man can not dance at two weddings”. To me, the timing and presentation of this German proverb, or “counter-phrase” of sorts, was just so perfect. To be able to do two things simultaneously may save you time but it isn’t the most ideal. Do you want to hit two birds with one stone? What if hitting one bird with one stone at a time will cause more damage to each bird? More accuracy?

The underlying message was clear: Multi-Tasking deters focus. Now that’s not exactly an unknown fact, but when presented as “Man kann nicht auf zwei Hochzeiten tanzen” it gives you an air of humility.

Perhaps this is why the Germans have such an elite global status as leaders in engineering.

The message was clear. Slow down in life, tackle one task at a time (but focus on doing it well), and don’t be arrogant of a successfully completed set of tasks that was done only in the name of efficiency (or lack of quality).

I found that this really hit home for me. My life has taken me down a path where I have decided to take on multiple career paths. Data Science, cybersecurity, bioinformatics, and the family business (logistics/transportation), all of this was clogging my mind as I tried to complete tasks for them in the most efficient manner. Really I just needed to cut everything else out and focus on each; one at a time.

I wasn’t only trying to dance at two weddings, I was trying to simultaneously dance in 4.

I just need to organize my life so that I can dance well at each of the 4 weddings and with maximum focus.

I need to multi-task less and focus on quality.

Multi-tasking deters focus and impedes quality.

You also can’t have your cake and eat it too.

Life is short, focus on quality over efficiency.

Dance well at 1 wedding. Then dance well again at the others.